S3E2: The Only Mentor You Should ALWAYS Listen To

Clarity and creativity can come from anyone and anywhere. People all around your world have messages ready to share that are intended to add value to your world. 

Whether you're sitting on how to start a second career, how to scale your business, or how to work through an obstacle at work....

Mentors can be that sounding board to help cultivate creative solutions, and enable your growth.

But what do you do when  a mentor, formal or informal, provides you with information that conflicts with someone else's advice, or doesn't align with what you feel is the best way to navigate forward? How do you know who's advice to reject, and who's guidance to take action on?

Tune into this week's episode to learn: 
- Who your Numero Uno Mentor is
- Who's advice should trump ALL other guidance
- How to trust yourself more

Transcript

Empowerhouse Coaching presents creative mindsets for business, a podcast where entrepreneurs, business leaders and their teams learn how to cultivate creativity together. So they can accelerate growth and scale to success. My name is Amanda Escobedo, I'm your host, creative mindset master coach and the founder of a powerhouse coaching. If you're joining me for the first time today, I want to give you a warm welcome. Thank you so much for being here today. And for those of you who have been dedicated followers to empower house coaching, welcome back, my friends. Today's today's topic, I want to focus on mentors. This topic has been on the front of my mind recently for a few reasons. And I've realized I actually have really strong opinions about them.

Unknown 1:11
Now one of the reasons this has been a topic at the top of my mind is because I've been supporting an organization that does succession planning, and part of those conversations, those succession planning conversations we've been having is about how to prepare a Hypo. A high potential candidate for their next level position. And there's a lot of different ways you can do that. You can do that through formal education, stretch assignments, creating opportunities for the successor to have more visibility, the list goes on. Now one of the ways this organization supports employee leadership development is through formal mentor mentee programs. And so we've recently been having conversations, a lot of conversations about mentor mentee pairings. Additionally, I've recently gotten feedback, and I'll say unsolicited, advice from others, which didn't necessarily land well with me. So both of these two things, so the feedback, unsolicited advice plus these conversations around mentee mentor. Pairing is kind of what has sparked to this topic of mentorship for me now I want to start off by saying mentor programs or mentors in general offer really great value to people. So I just want to say and reinforce I'm a fan. Okay, I'm a big fan of mentors and some of the value that one could get from a good mentor could be that they're encouraging and enabling you in your personal and professional development. Mentors can be a wonderful resource or source of knowledge for you. They can be there to support you and be a level of accountability. They can also help you make really great connections with the right people. They can be a sounding board and a trusted ally for you. They can provide constructive feedback. Honestly the list goes on and on and on and on. And mentors can actually come in many forms. So for example, mentors can be informal people in your network, they can be parents well meaning parents well meaning teachers, friends, people that have your best interest in heart and are working to guide you in the right direction. Now, more formal mentors could kind of look like a subject matter expert let's say in a field, so a business or marketing or leadership coach or specialists, fitting investor, whoever's someone that has that specialty that's going to guide you, let's say in your business, your career or your life as an example. And then you can also have more formal mentor mentee programs that are established by an organization which I was referencing earlier. Now that said, there is one mentor in your life that should trump all advice, all advice from any of the mentor examples that I just provided. There. should also be a numero uno mentor in your life. Can you guess who that mentor would be?

Unknown 4:22
I'm going to give you a hint. This mentor is someone that Stanford University says came out of your mother's womb with you. Now, I will caveat by saying those are my words, not Stanford's words. But what I'm trying to say is this mentor was born with you. It's almost like you were born partners and cry. Or I'll say partners for Goodwill. And this mentor. Any advice that they give you is actually according to Stanford University mistake free. That's right, folks. I did say any advice that this mentor the numero uno I'm telling you that you should have in your life is mistake. Free. Can you guess who I am referencing?

Unknown 5:10
Now, if you've been following this content, any of my Empower house content, whether it's the YouTube videos as podcasts, my Instagram, you might have already made an accurate guess of who this mentor is, or what I'm about to share won't be a surprise for you.

Unknown 5:26
Did you come up with an answer?

Unknown 5:28
I'm pausing. I want to hear who is the number one mentor I'll give you the answer. Your number one mentor is your intuition, your voice of wisdom, which I sometimes referred to as your V O W. Now round of applause for anyone that got that answer correctly.

Unknown 5:51
All right. I feel like a total dork right now is super excited to press that applause button. I just got this new microphone like all hookups set which came with a bunch of effects and that's what it was so super excited to press the applause button but applause to you. Okay, if you got that answer right. Now, my main message here for today's episode is there are constantly going to be people around you giving you advice constantly. You're getting information from the television, from your Instagram from me, from parents, from teachers, from investors from coaches, you're getting solicited and unsolicited advice, and sometimes the advice will come from people that are ahead of the journey of you that you're trying to get on. Sometimes this advice is going to come from respected leaders and I would actually say like, Hey, if you're getting advice from people that are on the journey that are just ahead and respected leaders leaders you value Awesome. That's you're in the right direction. That said you should always, always run the advice that you were hearing, receiving, reading, listening to by your number one mentor, by your intuition to see if that advice applies to you. Now even if someone is giving you advice that is data driven, or driven by best practices, knowledge base, our knowledge based articles, because there are different variables going on in your life, that advice may or may not apply to you at the point of your life that you're in. Additionally, whatever they're sharing may be the way that made sense for them. You are a very unique individual. So for example, I recently came across someone in my network who was let's say a marketing expert marketing was their field. And for context, I didn't come to this person for advice. I was more just sharing my coaching journey and my recent nine month hiatus and return to social media and creating content such as this podcast, and I shared how long I had been coaching for and all the time I was taking to create content such as this podcast, videos, newsletters, posts, all the things and I also shared how during that time, I really hit this big brick wall where creating content and feel authentic anymore. Everything I was creating was just starting to rub me the wrong way. Like any type of content I was absorbing is like any type of market research wasn't hitting me right. And all of this was compiled with the feeling of having a sense of feeling of loss. I needed clarity on the type of coach so they wanted to be so I could better focus my content for my audience and also just the solutions I was creating for my client group. And the solution for myself to gaining clarity and feeling authentic was taking a break from social media and creating content. Now, that was the gist of what I shared with this person and the response from this person was fascinating to me, because the way I received the message was that they were not supportive of my decision to take a break. The person said you should have never stopped you were starting to build momentum and when you build momentum, you need to keep going. That's when you keep going and you keep creating content. And again, they're coming from a marketing perspective. I understand that marketing perspective. I'm also going to tell you, I understand the power of momentum and how it works. I've studied a lot of John Maxwell's work who was a like a renowned leadership and executive coach and he talks a lot about momentum. He talks about the law of momentum and how the law of momentum is a leaders best friend. And the way John Maxwell really talks about how he describes or defines momentum is it's like a train traveling 55 miles per hour on a railroad track when it's running at that speed, it can crash through a five foot thick steel reinforced concrete wall without stopping. Now, that same train starting from a stationary position so with no momentum, won't be able to go through an inch thick block in front of the driving wheel. Now what John Maxwell is saying is momentum is powerful. And how that really translates into business is momentum can be a big contributor to bulldozing through your obstacles. And when things are great on the other side of the coin momentum can actually make us feel better. And when you have momentum and a win, people tend to overlook your shortcomings and they forget about your past mistakes. And with enough momentum any change feels possible for any individual or even a team. Now that said understanding the value of momentum, I understood what I needed was difference. I needed a pause. My intuition told me that even though best practices and data might be telling me the power of momentum, and it would be in my best interest to keep going my intuition said I have a better interest for you have faith. And my intuition was right. The pause and the space from content creation provided me with a space to focus on and clear other things that were taking up real estate in my mind in my heart. And again, for those of you that have been following me you will know that it has been a goal of mine I have been really struggling to create a community and get into personal hobbies for myself. And when I was able to successfully accomplish those goals for myself. A new piece settled in for me which invited clarity and creativity for me. And as a result, that clarity and creativity is what sparked my excitement, my motivation, which is exactly what I have been needed to come back to content creation and social media. more authentically and more powerfully. Now statistics, knowledge based articles, mentors they all have can be great resources that can help you reduce risk in your decisions that you are applying to your business to your career or your personal goals. But do not underestimate the power of your number one mentor your intuition. Now, I know someone may be saying, Amanda, how do I trust my intuition it's previously guided me in the wrong direction. And that's why I need to talk to other people. I like talking and asking 45 other people what I should do. Now if that's you, and you're asking 45 million other people what you should do, you're gonna get 45 million different answers. I mean, imagine when you have, let's say a health concern and you go to one doctor, and you're like, Well, I'm gonna get a second opinion. I'm gonna get a third opinion, you're likely gonna get different opinions. And the goal of getting those different opinions is to then assess them against your intuition. assess them against your voice of wisdom to see which one makes sense for you.

Unknown 13:08
Now, if you're having a hard time trusting yourself, I have two thoughts for that. Now, my first thought is you might be mistaking your intuition for cover your ears a little, a little interesting. You're at Biddy Shi TTY committee. Okay.

Unknown 13:27
All of those little thought demons that are in your head, those voices of judgments, those vo J's that put you down keep you there that make you feel like any decision is too risky that create all this fear. You know those voices of judgments for those that demons are present, because your nervous system is out of whack. You feel anxious about any choice. You're so afraid and if you make a decision, you're second guessing yourself. And the difference is your voice of wisdom. Your intuition is objective. It views things without emotion. You constantly hear people say well, the logical side of me says and then they go back to their voice of wisdom. They are their voice of judgment. The ADB Shi TTY committee, they go back to those documents and they let those little crew they let the roommates in their head when and where is your voice of wisdom? You know, it's present because you feel grounded. And hearing that voice and what it's saying to you. So for example, let's say you were young and your parents, your teachers society might have told you to become a lawyer to become a doctor become an engineer because they make a lot of money. And as you navigate in school, you could have cared less about what you were learning. If you were falling one of those career paths and you didn't really enjoy it. You really didn't have an interest in those subjects. But you felt like you were too deep to start over or too worried about choosing a different career. A fear of disappointing your parents, your friends or fear of what society might think about you. Now, the intuition is the voice that says Are you sure this is the path we want to continue on? We're not really having fun here. And I'm pretty sure there's something else that would align better with our interests and our strengths and the second voice, the itty bitty Shi TTY committee, your thought demons are the voices that said, You're we're not trying to make less money over here. Besides you're too far too deep anyway, you have to keep doing going. Don't disappoint anyone especially not your family, right. So that's something that might be there. Why you don't really trust yourself is because you don't really know the difference between your view J's, your thought demons, your voices of judgment, and your voice of wisdom. And the biggest note that I can say is if your nervous system does not feel right, if you're holding fear, if you feel anxious, that is the crew. That is the itty bitty Shi TTY committee roommates in your head. So do not listen to them. And I'll say you could listen to them but don't give them a vote. That's the difference. Whereas your voice of wisdom is the objective one that has you feeling grounded and at peace. Now, the second thought that I had here is don't be afraid to fail. Failure is just another data point. Another piece of information that allows you to learn more about yourself. clarity comes through action. And so whether the outcome of whatever action is one that you like or you don't like you now have more information to get to know yourself. Better. So let's say you're a life coach and you're trying to figure out a marketing campaign and whatever marketing campaign that you decided to push out didn't work. You're at BD Shi t t y company will use that as an opportunity to say well, this is what told you, you suck. This is exactly why you should quit. This is exactly why you shouldn't put yourself out there again, put yourself out on social media because your followers know that you're a flop and you can't do this. Whereas your voice of wisdom will say what can we learn from this experience? Let's dive deeper into this campaign to see and find out what worked and what didn't work and use this information as new information on how to course correct and move forward. Now to conclude, or what I want to reinforce is again, your number one mentor is you.

Unknown 17:41
I want you to run all of your advice and information you're getting from others through your intuitive filter. So if you're hearing something, you'll often immediately your head nods like Oh yeah, that makes sense, right? But if your head isn't nodding like that, sit with yourself later to see what what why am I resistant to this information? Ask yourself walk closer to the resistance. Now, the last thing I really just also want to leave you on is I talked about informal mentors. And the way I talked about informal mentors at the beginning of this episode is I talked a bit of they could be let's say teachers, parents, they could be friends or people around you that have your best interests at heart. But I also just want to expand a little more on informal mentors. They can actually be literally anybody because there are mentors the way I want you to open your mind up to mentors as mentors can literally be every single person around us. They could be the checker at Albertsons, the barista at Starbucks. It could be the neighbor you just pass by when you're walking your dog. It could be a person sitting next to you on the bus. People all around you in your world have messages for you that you're intended to hear that you're they are intended to provide you with a breakthrough or inspiration. Now, it may not look like a formal conversation of advice. But you may be sitting on a question that you've been percolating on. You may be sitting on trying to find clarity about your career, about your relationships about how to support your employees through whatever obstacle they're going from going through. Or you might have curiosity on how to get over any type of brick wall of frustration you're sitting with and the strangers around you in your world might have a piece of information that you need, but you can only hear the message if you're listening and if your presence now as a reminder, your VO J's your voices of judgments here at Biddy Shi t t. Y committee. Their favorite pastime is to travel to past regrets and travel to future worries which take us out of the present moment. And the present moment is not only where Pease lives, it's where your surrounding your serendipity mentors live. And it's where you can always find your numero uno mentor your intuition. So I want you to take that into consideration even if you don't have formal mentors around you. You know I talk a lot about getting into this world of flow and creativity and flow and and flow can be this world of serendipity synchronicity where it feels like you're at the right place at the right time and everything's happening for you. And all of a sudden you're just getting all these answers. Everything's working for you. And this is where I'm saying your surroundings. Everybody can be your mentor if you're really listening.

Unknown 20:51
Now, that's really my main focus for today. Those two things is your number one mentors your intuition and be open to messages from everywhere. Use your number one mentor your intuition as a filter, even when you're listening to me, whatever I'm saying is not that at all. Beall, I'm here to provide you with information and then you take that information and see what applies to you. I also have faith that the message that I am sharing, everybody is going to pick up the nugget that they need for themselves and the moment and a place that they are in their lives. And I hope to leave you with a nugget today.

Unknown 21:34
Now that concludes this episode. I hope to have provided you with a moment of inspiration motivation, and I hope to leave you with a feeling of empowerment to create the life of your dreams. Now if you found this podcast valuable, please give the gift of sharing information and share this podcast with three people in your network that would benefit from this episode. I'm confident they will be grateful.

Unknown 22:01
Alright folks, my name is Amanda Escobedo, and you've been listening to creativity in business. If you haven't yet, go to Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, subscribe and review this podcast. Your review will help others come across this resource and leverage their creativity in business. Join me next time and another conversation about the creative spirit, human potential, accelerate growth and ultimate impact. Thank you for listening